"I am the Turbanator, Cyberdyne Systems Taru 101"

I was all set to level my SMN tonight but when I changed over I looked at my level and it suddenly hit me: "what the hell am I doing?" It had taken so long for me to get to (nearly) L60 on THF and now I was starting again at L50 with another job, and purely because it might benefit the CoP Static. I must have been crazy to commit to it.

"Hi, have you managed to level your SMN yet?" Usagy asked me in a /tell.

That pushed me over the edge. It wasn't his fault, but it was the final straw for me. Although I politely said I might level it later, I felt so bad. All those days of desperately seeking to level for CoP and getting mad and frustrated at not being able to do so just got to me all in one go and I felt really upset, as the pressure just got to me. I actually felt like I couldn't be bothered with FFXI anymore if all that I logged on for was to level to please other people.

Then I got bitter and angry and thought, "why the hell should I level for other people? This is my d**n static and my subscription and I'll level what the hell I want." And I felt a bit better for thinking that. I locked away my Austere Robe and dusted off my SH and polished my daggers. I will be levlling my THF for my own pleasure and will be using it in all CoP fights from now on, and if anyone doesn't like that then they know what they can do.

BBK and Aka were really good about it, and Teila, fed up with how miserable I've been lately over this game, told me "I want the happy Kix back, not the one who constantly moans about the game".



Rant over; I managed to rank up 20k on AP and got my Yigit Turban but also began doing some Assaults in the Mamool Ja Training Grounds. It was enough to get me my Rank-Up quest for Superior Private, and thanks to Etiene, I found it straight away at J-7 of Azouph Isle in Caedarva Mire. I came back and got my promotion, so it was a pretty successful night!